Security Issues part 2

After asking around down at the Fargott arms i have today appointed a new member of staff. Shrekton Newhall will now be head of security. It was an obvious choice as soon as i saw those ears i knew in my heart that he could hear a fart from 1000 yds. His green colour will make him the obvious choice as he can easily blend in with the foliage around the manor. His huge size will guarantee to scare off any unwelcome visitors. I have set him on as a trial with the promise of a permanent job some time in the near future.

Bargaining was hard, it took place in my usual booth at the Fargott. Over 6 pints of plum and duck turd gargle juice, 4 slurpysloppy pies and 2 long toms we struck a deal and the contract of employment was set. Shrekton will move out from his lodgings with Mrs Bunghole the peat gatherer and move into the tower loft at Dodgy manor. Along with his board and lodgings for him and his donkey, he will receive a uniform allowance and a band 6 pay scale of 1 ticket for the Rex (Saturday matinee) 4 truffles and a 3 pint bar tab at the Fargott. And for every person he apprehends a bonus pint. I refused the offer to employ his right hand man Blake Rovin, he is a professional skier and as i have no use for a skier at the moment i thought it would be a waste of resources. Although should i ever fancy a slide down the slippery slopes of life i would probably call upon his services to make sure i got the friction settings correct on my yoddle oddle skis